Adrienne Berry's Pregnancy Memory

Last year my husband Brian and I felt it was time to start trying for number 3. Knowing that I am on bed rest for the first half of my pregnancy made it one that I had to gear up to (and my husband, as he became Mr. Mom during that time). Soon after we started trying, we were successful in getting pregnant and I was in bed from week 6 (first of October) through December. From the beginning I knew baby #3 would be a boy. I could feel him fluttering around so early on, it was like a constant reminder that he was letting me know it was all going to turn out fine. I often had thoughts of how blessed we were to be bringing another little boy into our family as I lay there in bed and let my man do all the work.

As I was sick, I started to notice my 4 year old son David was not getting better from a fall cold. It went from cold, to flu, to cold, to flu, to strep. Many days we lay in bed together feeling rotten, but giving lots of snuggles. Then one day he started wetting the bed again. Rancid bad breath ensued and I couldn't put the energy into this change in angry 4 year old behavior. David became aggressive and lethargic. ER visits provided no comfort. Pediatrician visits seemed fruitless. After months of both of us being sick, I told my husband we needed to start having blood tests done on David. At this phase, baby #3 was all but a growing bump in my belly.

On December 1st, I was laying on our front couch making an appointment with our Pediatrician again, requesting blood work to be done and urine tests as well. My other line beeped in and I ignored it. Then as my husband's cell phone rang I was transported into a de ja vous. I knew my dad was calling. He was telling my husband that my mother had suffered a severe stroke. I knew she was near death. As he hung up the phone, I said "She had a stroke didn't she?" This dream had happened all throughout my pregnancy, you know those weird dreams that you have that you just ignore?

Within hours I was in the car driving to visit my mom in the neuro ICU 300 miles away. Brian was to take David to the pediatrician for the blood work.

I thought about my mom, possibly not being able to hold baby #3 or comfort my other two children like grandma's always do.

As I arrived to my mom's bedside, I received a call that David was being rushed to the ER: prognosis Type 1 Diabetes, DKA: Diabetic ketoacidosis is a complication of diabetes that occurs when sugar (glucose) is not available as a fuel source by the body and fat is used instead. David was about 24 hours away from death.

Suddenly anger and fears of caring for another child stemmed and I wasn't sure why I had the crazy idea to grow our family. How could we care for a diabetic child, a toddler and a new baby?

With the prospect of burying my mother and son in the same week, I had to make a decision. Thankfully my mother stabilized after about 12 hours and I was able to turn around to drive back home to David.

As I got to the hospital where he was admitted I was blown away with the information that I had missed out on. IVs, insulin therapy, injections, and my sick little boy - in a yellow hospital nightie. As soon as I saw him, I snuggled up to him on his bed with my now protruding belly. He then rested his hand on my tummy and told me, "Mom, I'm going to be the best big brother when I get feeling better."

There in a hospital bed, I felt two little boy spirits — one so close to death, the other so close to life — and I couldn't help but regret my feelings of anger and inadequacy. No love lacking, my sons taught me a valuable lesson that day.

Sometimes our biggest trials are a blessing in disguise.


4 Generations of boys, 4 generations of girls!

We have learned to live happily with Type 1 Diabetes. Pregnancy gave us something to look forward to, and not dwell on the past few traumatic months. My mother miraculously recovered and since Charlie was born he's been our little ray of sunshine for 2009. Happy and cheerful, he reminds us that, "When life gets you down, Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming swimming swimming!"

From Adrienne of Dingbat Press.

--------------

Note: for the duration of my pregnancy, I'll be posting stories about pregnancy, childbirth and growing a family on Wednesdays. You can find them all by clicking here.