Wednesday, October 07, 2009

An Adoption Story by Jenny Newcomer



Seven years ago ovarian cancer and its treatment left me, left us, without any reproductive options. So we — my husband Will and I — opened our hearts, our minds, and adoption’s heavy door.


Whether it was our heart, our mind, fate, or a combination of all three, we adopted our daughter four years ago in what most would consider an ideal open adoption. We thank God for Sam, for her wonderful birth family, and, believe it or not, for the cancer that lead us to her.

Fear, however, did not abandon ideal. An emotional rollercoaster pulled up a chair and made itself comfortably uncomfortable in the months, weeks, and days leading up to the delivery: what if the birthmom changed her mind? Could we do this? How do we know? What if something, anything, goes wrong?

She didn’t change her mind — and the adoption went as smoothly as one could reasonably expect an arrangement that involves one woman handing a baby over to another woman to go. The emotions were many and multiple — and I vowed to cherish every moment — quiet, loud, overwhelming, and miraculous — with our little girl because I knew many of those I experienced waiting for her weren’t ones I would experience again.

Until now. We decide to try to adopt a child again.

The tearful exchange of a precious little miracle from woman to woman those four years ago isn’t as vivid as it once was. But the swell of love from and because of that little miracle certainly is. Nothing compares to that swell—and the space for love that Sam has carved out in us is boundless. More love makes more love.



In the six months since Will grinned at my mention of baby number two, it’s the social worker at the door, not the UPS man; pages and pages of application and verification documents stand in piles on the desk not ultrasound imagess; fingerprints and background checks are complete; and we are number 37 on the adoption agency waitlist. After a year & half wait, little Henry arrived into the world destined for us.

From Jenny Newcomer of LobotoME.

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Note: for the duration of my pregnancy, I'll be posting stories about pregnancy, childbirth and growing a family on Wednesdays. You can find them all by clicking here.

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12 Comments:

Blogger Bekah: said...

Weeks ago the heavy door you just described was pushed open by our family. Emotions ran wild. Eden is ours. But oh the work it took to get her here. No one who hasn't experienced it could fully understand what it takes emotionally to adopt.

Thank you for sharing your story!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 3:02:00 PM EDT  
Blogger LobotoME said...

Congratulations on your adoption Bekah! jenny :)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 3:04:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Meg said...

Thanks for sharing this story. I am a mom to a beautiful (almost) two year old boy and a little stillborn baby in heaven. I was recently diagnosed with cancer and will start chemo next week. So who knows at this point what my future really holds... but I love being a mom. I'm so grateful that there are ways to build a family when life takes you another way. Great and wonderful things can come from hard circumstances. Thanks for sharing your story!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 4:33:00 PM EDT  
Blogger dandee said...

so happy you shared your adoption experiences, jenny. what little treasures sam and henry are.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 4:44:00 PM EDT  
Blogger heather said...

Thank you for sharing this Jenny! It is a difficult club to join but a tight one. One of my friends thinks it must be similar to the ties of war veterans...it my have been a different battle we were each in, but we feel each other's struggles!

PS Your kiddos are gorgeous! And they have a pretty cool mama too!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 5:03:00 PM EDT  
Blogger chiara said...

What a wonderful post! Congratulations on your new little boy!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 5:20:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Morgan said...

Lovely story and what a beautiful family! I hope to have my own biological children one day, but I also would love to adopt too.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 5:30:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Mim said...

Thanks for sharing such a personal and emotional story, and congratulations on your beautiful baby boy!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 10:58:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Adventures In Babywearing said...

Gabrielle, thank you so much for showcasing these wonderful stories.

Steph

Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 11:28:00 AM EDT  
Blogger J said...

I'm elated to read adoption stories. (I'm an adoptive mom too!) And, I'm hoping to grow our family again soon (fingers crossed).
Yay for mom and baby stories!!!

Saturday, October 10, 2009 at 10:00:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Deanna said...

Wow, that line "more love makes more love" is beautiful and so true.

Sunday, October 11, 2009 at 3:15:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Maura said...

What a beautiful story. We are in the process of adopting our foster son and what a roller coaster it is. But worth every moment that brings us closer to being his forever family.

Sunday, October 11, 2009 at 5:54:00 PM EDT  

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