One Month Anniversary Letter to Her Baby from Kate Reymann

Kate Reymann writes a little post to her son every month. He’s going on 15 months next week. This is the first one she wrote:

Luke, you are one month old today. One month ago your dad and I were still reeling from a 30 hour labor that ended in an emergency c-section. The Friday night induction that turned into a Saturday morning with contractions coming every minute, the arrival of Rachel our doula, the decision to get an epidural after seven hours of contractions coming continuously with absolutely no progress on my part (what do you mean I'm still just 1 cm?) the epidural itself, which was one of the most intense and saddest moments of my life, with your father and I both sobbing as Patty Griffin sang “When It Don’t Come Easy” on the ipod, at the exact moment the epidural went in.

Then, fourteen hours of pitocin and four epidurals later a c-section, chronic dry mouth I was sure I was going to die of, and finally you, our little baby boy with your stomach and lungs full of meconium, your dad hurrying to stay with you while I got stitched up, lying there in amazement that I had a son and still unbelieving that I had had a c-section. Feeding you for the first time, finally finally getting to bed at 5.00 that morning after your first bath, done inexplicably at 4.00 in the morning, but revealing blond golden hair.

Those long days in the hospital filled with visitors and still not believing we had a baby. Your second night spent in the nursery freaking us out because you were running a temperature and not eating. Many many hours and many shifts of nurses coaxing you to latch on and feed. Finally getting discharged and going home, discovering that autumn had arrived while I had been in the hospital. The joy of being home greatly tempered by days and nights of no sleep and a very cranky baby and a freaked out mother.

And then, somehow, we got to know one another. Suddenly you were sleeping for more than 30 minutes, you were recognizing our voices and you were losing that swollen newborn look and filling out into your own. I know your face will change over and over as the months and years go by and you'll get cuter and cuter, if that it is at all possible because you are so adorable right now. Sometimes you surprise us with a smile, something you started doing around three weeks. We like to think they are real smiles, but perhaps you are just content or just gassy — both are possible.

You shake your head like a crazy person and gritch and fuss when you are really hungry, but this is all worth it when you finally sigh with content and fall asleep on our chests, your little stomach moving in and out with your tiny little baby breaths.

From Kate Reymann of Well This is New.
Photo of Luke by Winona Robison.

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Note from Design Mom: for the duration of my pregnancy, I'll be posting advice, memories and stories about pregnancy, childbirth, adoption and growing a family on Wednesdays. You can find them all by clicking here. I'd love to hear your story or memory or advice, feel free to submit it to gabrielle@designmom.com.