The Thing I Wish All Parents Knew Before Their Kids Start Kindergarten — by Guest Mom Wendy B
If you take nothing else from my visit here, please take this piece of information and use it:
If you are involved in your child’s school, in whatever capacity, your kid will fare better academically than the kid whose parents aren’t/can’t be involved.
There is so much literature out there supporting parent involvement in schools, it’s silly to imagine there are parents who simply choose not to pitch in. But in truth, there are social, economic and cultural barriers that prevent some parents from participating in their child’s school, even if they have a desire to do so. Each day I see parents who, when they have an appointment at school, need to pay a taxi for each ride because they don’t own a car and they live too far away to walk. Many times they simply cannot get there.
Single parenthood is another social and financial barrier — a very difficult, time-consuming and tiresome barrier. We acknowledge and appreciate all single parenthood entails. How can we argue with those single parents who simply do not have another ounce of energy for school events? I totally get that. I’ve been there. I could go on and on.
My plea then, to those of you who have been blessed with sound families and stable homes: please get involved with PTA and help support those sweet students — your kids’ friends — whose families are struggling. Not all parents can be involved; can you be involved? Your own children will be better, smarter, and more capable, and you will help support the entire school community — every child. It’s important.
In case you're interested, here are two adequate books on the subject:
Building School and Community Partnerships Through Parent Involvement, by Kay Wright and Delores Stegelin. In addition to the points I’ve already made, this book goes on to discuss the unique issues that are exclusive to those families with special needs students.
Parents Are Lifesavers: A Handbook for Parent Involvement in Schools, by Carol S. Batey. There is so much good stuff in this book for PTA members — it ought to be a must-read. It’s not exclusive to PTA though, and it has fantastic ideas for ways for you to get involved in a sort-of ‘don’t-wait-to-be-asked’ way.
‘Till tomorrow. . .
Note from Design Mom: the gorgeous illustration at the top was found on Definatalie. It was drawn in 1910 as a vision of what the year 2000 would be like. How cool is that? It's part of series and the collection is housed at the National Library of France.
posted by Gabrielle of Design Mom at Wednesday, October 15, 2008
14 Comments:
I do agree get involved. I am blessed that my work has a matching grant program. For every hour I volunteer at my child's school, my work 1)let's me do it during work hours 2)still pays me my salary and 3)matches my hours by giving the school $10 for every hour I volunteer.
Pretty Awesome. I have been art docent mom, field trip chaperone, lunch time monitor, to name a few.
One thing I disagree with, and probably not your intent, is that my home is not sound, or stable.
I am a single mom. My home was a lot less sound and stable when we had a dysfunctional father in the home.
Just did not want to paint the picture that single is always unsound and unstable.
:) Blessings.
Great post, Wendy!
I am entering my 3rd year as a mentor and I love it! My mento's mom is single (live-in boyfriend) with 5 kids and she works 3 jobs. She gets to school when she can, but mostly she can't. She WANTS to, though. And the school my mento attended the last 3 years had a 3 parent PTA - and 2 of those PTA officers were school employees. I am glad that my work lets me take off a few hours to mentor each week, and they are flexible about me volunteering for other events.
I can see the difference just in a child having a mentor.
having younger children and no childcare is another barrier but I am still helping with my older daughter's school. I am doing things that allow me to bring my younger daughter, I can't wait for the first feild trip and hope I can bring my youngest. I am trying to see if my husband can work from home so I can volunteer more.
I'm so glad this was posted. I signd up to volunteer in my daughters class (kindergarten) this year..but have thought to myself on more than one occasion.."Is it that big of a deal to do this? It's going to be so difficult to squeeze this weekly obligation in!" But after reading your post, I feel like I'm doing the right thing and it is "that big" of a deal!
I agree; Being a mom is the best "job" I ever had. As a graduate of K-12 "private" education, we decided to "invest" in our girls and have reaped more than $$$ benefits....they are both "contributing" citizens as a social worker and a RN. The best thing to spend on your children is TIME. Which lately we have plenty of vs. the "other".
YEAH YEAH Out Loud!
i gotta know where sandee works -
I have never -
Has any one ever ?!
And I mean ever heard of that -
a job that while they are allowing you
and paying you
also paying cash money to the school for her volunteering ?
I hate to be eeyore but your all so young and wide eyed . Soon ( by 4th grade) you will see the schools that welcome you in kindergarten will challenge the same evidence you now cite. Saying that they are the professionals and have the degrees you wouldn't volunteer or know more than or challenge your doctor.
Math programs that were being denounced on the front page of the wall street journal were still being implemented and no one wanted to hear . being involved is an illusion its the busy work when it comes
to real educational matters or simply asking them to adhere to their own mission statements - you'' see
cupcakes and field trips - oh those go awry too inhigh school when well as i said your all dewy eyes i wont ruin that for you
Great post. My son isn't in school yet, but I'm already worrying about my ability to participate actively in his education. Working full-time and having a long commute doesn't afford me much time or flexibility. But I will figure something out, because it's important.
I totally agree. As a former teacher, the kids I had who had parents involved in the school were much more grounded and responsible. There is a change from the more hands-on early elementary years to the intermediate and junior high years. Parents can still be involved but it becomes more of a background support of the teacher and the school. If you are over-involved in intermediate and junior high you can enable your child, who needs to become more independent, and frustrate the teachers who already have enough on their plates. In these years, involved parents volunteer in the office or work with the PTA/PTO. It may not be hands on with your own child but they see your involvement and take notice of what you are doing to support them and their friends.
That's my two cents!
Let me preface this by saying I am a SAHM of a toddler, and fully intend to work my schools in wahtever way is needed.
Are you (and these books) arguing that parent involvement in schools helps all students achieve more academically? Or are you arguing that if I am involved in a school my own kid will be smarter? Just curious, reading this summary it is a bit muddled. I would think the latter wouldn't be causal, but rather a correlation..
Is there actual evidence that being involved in the PTA/school is better for kids growth/achievement than being involved in weekend activities or after-school ones (scouts, sports, volunteer activities) that may be better for working parents schedules? I think a lot of education, especially of young kids, goes on outside the classroom...
I am so frustrated with the whole PTA "get involved" thing. This is my second year in public school and it seems the only thing they want you to get involved with is fundraising and parties. I have offered to volunteer on several occasions but I still have no idea what my girls are doing while they are at school. I specifically asked if I could know the results of the assessments and have gotten no feedback. The school and teachers always boast about parent involvment and open communication, but then tell me if I have a question to write a note. To me that isn't open communication. I wish I knew how to feel comfortable with and know what my children were being taught (and they are actually challenged) without becoming overbearing and pushy. I really do appreciate the post and will have to check out some of the books. Thanks
I have asked our PTA to organize a "moms who need to swap childcare" list, but that has not happened. The only obstacle to volunteering at my son's school is my extremely disruptive toddler. I don't want to sound like a pity party, but I don't really have any close friends in the area and I have no local family that can watch him. But you have inspired me to yet again pester the PTA and room moms to see if anybody can organize a child-care swap program.
I love vintage illustrations and that one made me giggle. They were thinking that we would be plugged in, but they had now idea how much.
Wow, thanks for this. My oldest child starts kindergarten next year so all things school-related are new to me. But she's in a co-op preschool right now which I was reluctant about b/c I am a selfish lazy butt who didn't want to find a babysitter and help at school. It only took one time "cooperating" in the classroom to be convinced this is WHERE I NEED TO BE; your post has reinforced my conviction to be involved in my kids' schools long term. Thanks!
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